Gojira no Chimpira (infanttyrone) wrote,
Gojira no Chimpira

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The Onset of Maturity

In some respects, I am a late bloomer. I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was about eight years old, nor did I learn how to swim until the year after (an embarrassing admission for someone who grew up on the Mississippi River-- I did almost-drown a lot as a kid.) I didn't learn to drive until I was 25. And I don't just mean I didn't have my license, I literally could not operate a motor vehicle until E taught me (along with some very positive reenforcement.)
And I know I've mentioned here before that I hadn't attempted to grow out a mustache until late 2005, where it grew mostly by neglect due to my participation in NaNoWriMo. I've had a contradictory relationship with my mustache ever since. But due to a recent decision to stop letting my fear of the 'Stache Curse run my life, it's out and proud, and getting longer and bushier every day.
That said, I have a question for those of you who went through the whole thrill of having a mustache when you were younger, and already know all this stuff: now that it's coming on cold season, when one blows one's nose, how does one prevent the, uh, "nesting" of certain unwanted products in said mustache?

And while we're on the subject, which do you say-- the adult and dignified "buhg-err"*, or the more fun to say "BOOh-gher?"

And while we're on the subject of getting older, how do I slow down the speed at which time passes? I've gotten pretty good at speeding up the undesirable time (i.e. work) but why does my hour before work have to go that fast now, too? And my weekends, forget about it. Gone before I even know they've arrived. Is there some kind of lotion I can use? Some kind of hat?

*As Biz Markie says it.
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